My guess is that many of us have been in the following situation, especially around the holidays such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Day—or maybe all three! You’re at the dinner table with members of your family, many of whom you haven’t seen in a while. Everyone is looking forward to a meal that has been in preparation for hours, plus hearing all the news from your siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles. When there’s a lull in the conversation, someone tries to be helpful and asks for opinions about the latest election, the role of the Church, or why a certain relative chose not to join you that evening. There’s a spontaneous intake of breath, sideways glances, a cough, and a sudden interest in those glasses of wine on the table. It seems that this isn’t unique to the US. According to a survey that was highlighted in our local newspaper, awkward discussions can happen during the fêtes in France as well.

An article in La Dépêche gave some advice on how to have a successful celebration on Christmas Eve. The headline included, “subjects to avoid” according to the language learning website Preply, who had asked 1500 of their readers what they don’t talk about in order to preserve the harmony during the feast on December 24. At the top of the list was “politics” and considering that last year the makeup of the government changed at least 4 times that would be a challenge in France.

Close behind, at the number 2 position, was “family stories”; that is, old quarrels. Past conflicts, arguments, and rivalries should remain exactly there: in the past. Accompanying the topic of personal disagreements was global ones, be they wars between countries, regions, or residents one against the other.

We certainly can’t leave out religion and a third of the survey respondents didn’t either. I read that in 1871, 98% of the population considered themselves Catholic while today only about 1% of the French practice their religion daily. Still, the Church in any form is apparently left for discussion elsewhere.

Rounding out the top 6 of topics to avoid might be related: your love life and how to bring up children. Whether it’s the start of a new romance, the end of one, or the youngster that is the result of one, careful guests choose something else to talk about.

It’s always fascinating to me to read the results of surveys like this one and compare them with our own experiences. Whenever we’ve been at dinner with French friends, there’s never been a topic off-limits. In fact, they can’t seem to get enough of our thoughts about all of the subjects above, typically initiating the conversation…”OK, let’s talk about politics”….

Note: Today’s festive photos were all taken in Carcassonne. The featured photo across the top is from a window display at a makeup store downtown.