That title says it all, doesn’t it? No, it wasn’t us but a couple of whom we’ve become very fond. Baptiste is the great grandson of our 105-year-old neighbor and although he and the new bride live in Paris, they’re in Carcassonne at least monthly for a visit. Naturally they wanted “Mamie” (the French diminutive for Grandmother) to be present on one of the most important days in their lives. It was an honor that Bill and I were invited and we were interested to see how this big event compared to American weddings as well as what we’d seen on TV and read in books regarding the traditions of the ceremony.

There is a television reality/game show called the equivalent of “4 Weddings for 1 Honeymoon” that has given us plenty of insight into what goes on in French weddings. Naturally there’s an element of competition—who has the most beautiful dress, best reception hall decoration, most delicious meal, favorite opening dance, and overall atmosphere—to win an all-expenses-paid honeymoon. For us, however, it’s more interesting to see how the big day plays out and the reactions of the other brides when someone doesn’t follow the rules, so to speak. Eyebrows are raised if you arrive for the wedding in the bucket of a tractor, wear a plaid dress, intentionally serve ice-cold food, or hand out cupcakes in place of the traditional pyramid-shaped pastry, the pièce montée.

Author Laura Bradbury has written The Grape Series books about her life in France including My Grape Wedding that matches what we know about traditions here. The day begins at the town hall where the mayor performs the legal civil ceremony with the family and a few close friends present while all of the other invitees wait outside to greet the newlyweds. That might or not be followed by a religious ceremony but most certainly will have the vin d’honneur, a glass of sparkling wine and perhaps some hors d’oeuvres for everyone present. I read that this drink was in older times how all of the villagers could toast the couple and not feel left out even if they weren’t invited to that evening’s reception, reserved for closer friends and family. 

While the activities earlier in the day definitely focus on the happy couple, the reception expands those good feelings to all of the invited guests who might be treated first to a champagne tower where bubbly wine cascades down a pyramid of glasses. That can be followed by a multi-course dinner, games, music, and dancing. Dessert would be the above-mentioned pièce montée frequently supplemented with the style of cake we would expect to see in the US, known here by the English words “wedding cake”. Historically, village weddings could last for days but currently, outside of the day itself, there might be a welcome dinner the night before or a farewell brunch the next day.

What should you budget if you want your reception in Paris? Although we were invited to a fantastic Eiffel Tower view rooftop party for 200, I also liked this river cruise description for 45 guests: privatization of a yacht from 8 PM to 2 AM; 3 hours sailing on the Seine and 3 hours parked at the foot of the Eiffel Tower; gourmet multi-course dinner, DJ, open bar. All for 165€ per person. Congratulations to Baptiste and Alex and thank you for including us in the festivities!